If you’re eyeing a new sex toy—something powerful, something that promises toe-curling pleasure. But there’s one issue: It’s loud. Not just a subtle hum, but an Oh wow, I hope my neighbours aren’t home kind of loud. The question is: Does it matter?

For those with penises (or anyone using vibrating pleasure devices), noise can be a make-or-break factor. But before you dismiss a toy based on its decibel level, let’s break this down.

Why Are Some Sex Toys So Damn Loud?

1. More Power, More Noise Let’s be honest, powerful vibrations = better orgasms. If a toy is designed to deliver deep, rumbly sensations, it needs a strong motor. A strong motor means more movement, and more movement means more noise. Basic physics, baby.

2. Cheap vs. Premium Motors Not all vibrators are created equal. Cheaper sex toys tend to use low-quality motors, which create a loud, high-pitched buzzing noise. Premium toys? They use quieter, rumbly motors that offer just as much (or more) power but without the lawnmower sound effects.

3. The Shape and Material Matter

• Hard plastic toys tend to be noisier because they don’t absorb vibrations.

• Silicone toys tend to muffle sound better, making them a quieter option.

• Hollow designs create an echo effect, making them sound louder than they actually are.

4. Air-Powered Toys Can Be Surprisingly Noisy Suction-based toys use air pressure to stimulate sensitive areas. The result? A distinctive noise that some describe as "a tiny vacuum cleaner." Great sensation, not-so-great for discretion.

Is Noise a Dealbreaker? Let's Talk Privacy

Noise level matters most when privacy is a concern. Let’s break down who might care (and who really won’t):

People Who Might Have an Issue with a Loud Toy:

• Roommates – Unless they’re super chill, they don’t want to hear you buzzing away at 2 AM.

• Thin walls, nosy neighbours – Apartment living can be tricky if your toy sounds like a power drill.

• Family members in the house – Enough said.

People Who Won’t Care:

• Those living alone – You can be as loud as you want, and so can your toy.

• Couples who are open about toy use – If your partner is into it, they probably don’t mind the noise.

• People who don’t give a f*** – If you’re here for pleasure, not discretion, then go off, king.

How to Make a Loud Toy Quieter (Because You Deserve Peace and Pleasure)

If you’re in a noise-sensitive situation, there are ways to muffle the sound. Here’s what you can do:

1. Use a Blanket or Pillow Wrapping the toy in a thick blanket or pressing it into a pillow can absorb a surprising amount of noise.

2. Play Music or White Noise A simple trick? Put on music, a fan, or a white noise machine to cover up the sound. Your neighbours will think you’re just vibing.

3. Opt for a Quieter Toy Certain brands specialise in whisper-quiet sex toys. More on that below.

4. Apply Pressure to the Toy Sometimes, vibrations sound louder because the toy is rattling against the surface it’s on. Holding it against your body firmly can reduce unnecessary noise.

5. Close Doors and Layer Sounds Turn on the TV, take your toy to the furthest room from shared spaces, and enjoy. Simple but effective.

The Verdict: Should You Buy a Loud Sex Toy?

It all comes down to this:

• If you prioritise power over discretion, a loud toy is a small price to pay for mind-blowing orgasms.

• If you need to keep things quiet, either choose a premium, quieter toy or use soundproofing hacks.

• If the idea of your toy making noise turns you on, then, well, enjoy the show.

At the end of the day, pleasure is personal. Whether you go loud or quiet, the most important thing is that you’re enjoying yourself.

So, what’s your take? Would you buy a loud toy if it meant better orgasms? Or is silence golden in your world? Drop your thoughts, because let’s be real—this is a conversation worth having.